December 28th, 2010
|05:40 am - LAST SONG|
I am in Thailand~! BKK to be exact, or Sri Lanka if your name is Dhakshila lol, it is very hot and my family is incredibly jet-lagged but we are eating a lot, meeting new peeps, and generally having a blast! I do miss my family Christmas traditions though, sniffle. I am five apparently.
I am closing this journal before the new year. If someone could tell me how to Flock all past entries that would be great. I may use this to comm post and fic or something, don't know yet.
My new journal, which will be used more often, hopefully everyday as a discipline exercise or something, is going to be figandmelon where I will be posting about this trip!
Merry Christmas all, and I hope you have a Happy New Year!~
June 7th, 2010
Applying for Job at Neiman Marcus in Irving TX. Perfectly qualified. Need resume advice: as in, mine is non-existent. Or rather, it was perfectly existent until my old PC died.
Prayers please! And thank goodness for fashion.net I really know a cliffs notes version of fashion and I guess I should study up if I get an interview. Too bad I would look terrible LOL!
June 4th, 2010
I'm thinking of deleting this journal. I don't write anything of value, so I'm just debating whether to stop posting or just delete it entirely.
I'll let you know what I decide. Maybe I'll start a new journal? Also, I'll post my email address.
I'm just tired.
May 16th, 2010
I hate thinking about the past. I have lived a life full of so many regrets. I admire the people who see them "making them the person they are today" but I don't. I was so so naive. I hurt myself. I hurt others. I let others hurt me. Disgusting.
May 7th, 2010
"Why are you going to Miami?" Liz Lemon
"Why does anybody go to Miami? ASS....and the burgeoning arts scene. I gotta blow off some steam. C'mon, let's go have some fun!"
Jack Donagee, 30 ROCK
May 1st, 2010
So I was planning a birthday party for today but everyone cancelled. A few people had legitimate reasons, but I just found out a bunch of people lied to me to go somewhere else. Pretty distressed. Mostly because I rarely see my friends and almost never get to go out. When I do, I don't bring up Sebastian and 'MOM' everyone.
But I guess I'm either a terrible person or not interesting enough but for some reason or another I now have 12 cupcakes and no one to eat them with but Bond. Here's to gaining another 5 pounds in one day.
Current Mood: disappointed
March 30th, 2010
March 29th, 2010
Jealousy is not a healthy emotion. I SHOULD be glad that my close friends have others to turn to, and talk to. Confide in. Laugh with.
But I can't! I don't know why! I've always been wary of my friend's friends. I'm a selfish person. Boyfriends, sure! I want them to be happy! But friends threaten me and take people away from me. I'm like a spider trapping my prey in a web. Or Miss Havisham sitting in my wedding dress scaring the shit outta Pip.
I know that I have a deep deep desire to please others. I know that I love my friends deeply and attach to them strongly.I know I have a fear of being left behind. I can't help but feel resentful of the other person who is 'taking them away from me.' Jealousy affects me in other ways too, but this is mainly how it affects my friendships.
In short, I'm sorry if my jealousy has ever negatively affected our friendship. I'm trying to be a better person everyday.
The real question is, how do I raise Sebastian so he doesn't get as screwed up as me.
March 20th, 2010
March 16th, 2010
what a ridiculous fucking day