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November 16th, 2009
11:37 pm I didn't mind when I feel depressed and uncertain about the future when it was just me, but now I have a family to worry about too.
When I didn't have money before, it just made my social plans a little plainer, but now I have bills to pay, and savings to create.
I'm just anxious beyond belief.
Jesus, please help me get a good job and make money.
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November 15th, 2009
12:25 am I AM THE GHOST OF LOST DATA FILES PAST!! HEAR ME EBENEZER SCROOGE!!
My camera and my Laptop have been destroyed. The camera will not open or work and the laptop has been wiped. I must resort to all kinds of desperate attempts to recall my files. ALL of my music files, pictures, school documents, saved chats (I'm looking at you the_plate and nullspace), Everything is GONE.
PLEASE BACK UP YOUR FILES OR YOU WILL REGRET IT!!!!!!
I'm still trying to get mine back but it looks grim and depressing. Why did I never get off my butt and post pictures whenI had the chance?? Weeps.
HEAR ME, HEAR MEEEEE!!
::rattles chains:: Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Ben Folds - Regrets
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November 1st, 2009
01:07 pm I wish I had lots of money because I always feeling like giving mimei cool things. And hugs. <3 Current Mood: happy
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October 24th, 2009
12:41 am I really need prayers. Truly. I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't understand anything. If someone tells you you've hurt them, why can't you work together to fix it?? I wouldn't have told you if it hadn't hurt me deeply.
I'm serious. You put me dead last. You gossip and make fun of me with friends with no concern to my feelings and then act like you care. I may be the worst sister in the whole goddamn universe but I have NEVER put you behind a friend. Never ever.
Then when I tell you how I feel you say I'm manipulative and that I victimize myself. You are the manipulative one. I never tell you one thing and then another. You told me something and now you're saying something else. If you think so little of me, don't spare me at your convenience.
I want to scream and cry but I have a sleeping baby with me.
How dare you. I know you hate everyone in our fucking family, so stop pretending you don't feel the same way about me. Actions speak a whole lot fucking louder than words. Current Mood: devastated
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October 3rd, 2009
11:36 pm So for those who didn't know, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Sept. 24th, named Sebastian Chisanupong Yacharn. I didn't really write about my pregnancy because I didn't know how to bring it up, lame I know, because this is my journal after all.
That said:
It is very hard to be a parent. You worry all the time about everything that could go wrong and you feel isolated sometimes. You want to spend time with your partner but you have to focus on the baby. Every time you want to do something for yourself, you have to make sure it'll fit around the baby's schedule. You lose the opportunity to be selfish.
That said:
I love my son so much. He is beautiful and adorable and so cute. I love his little toes and his little face and the way he reaches up to me in that trembling, unsure way with his little gloved hand when I nurse him. I hope that I can be a good parent and use all of my experiences to see what works with children and what doesn't.
Just a blurb before I pass out (only to wake up for his snack at 2 AM!!).
<3
Pics here
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September 20th, 2009
09:08 am Still ill. :(((((((((((((((
Cough will never leave me. It's my new best friend.
Anyone know where I can rewatch Gossip Girl Season 1 without downloading a bunch of viruses? OR adware?
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September 1st, 2009
11:29 pm I'm sorry I haven't called or emailed guys!
I'm just trying to work as many hours as I can before the middle of September and the expenses keep coming, so I'm trying to make calls this week, but I will def. call before the middle of the month.
Love and apologies!
Off to work...
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August 22nd, 2009
07:22 am What is with the Buck Tick hater at jrocksecret?
Dang, that is one angry an-cafe fan!
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August 21st, 2009
May 6th, 2009
12:59 am - How Do You Think?
| You Think Creatively | Your brain works best when you let your intuition be your guide. You like to imagine, speculate, and fantasize. You have fun playing with ideas.
You are interested in theories. You enjoy studying and developing them. You are drawn toward art, philosophy, and even math. Almost every subject is interesting to you. |
Current Music: Nancy Sinatra - Somethin' Stupid (with Frank Sinatra) | Powered by Last.fm
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February 23rd, 2009
03:45 pm
Your result for The Personality Defect Test...
HippieYou are 14% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 43% Arrogant. 
You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Sociopath.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.
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If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!
About Saint_Gasoline
I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.
Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy
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February 16th, 2009
02:39 pm One of my resolutions, which I forgot to post T-T, was to write letters to my friends, but as I'm stupid, I forgot my address book back home.....so...
Please leave your addresses below if you'd like a long, sticker-filled letter in messy handwriting!! I have paper, envelopes, colored pencils and a variety of stamps. Hey ho!
PS: Sufjan Stevens' album 'Seven Swans' is a surreal musical experience not to be missed by anyone. Warning: if you're afraid of subtle folk rhythm, banjo, or slightly off-key alt-rock harmonies, try his other album 'Say YES! to M!ch!gan!' which has a more modern progression and classic rock feel. But do give it a try, even if you're into other types of music, because his melodies are divine and his guitar/banjo playing is clever. Current Mood: calm Current Music: Sufjan Stevens - He Woke Me Up Again
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January 28th, 2009
10:11 pm Hey,
I'll write all about what's going on in my embarrasment of a life as soon as I have the time and energy and the ability to write about it.
In the meantime, if ANYONE has the ability to upload MGMT's album Oracular Spectacular I would really appreciate it!!!
Also, Sora to Ito is up, and it is a pretty amazing video. Miya shreds through his guitar solo and comes out on the other side of hair metal. I don't understand Tatsurou's electronica voice distortion though, he's not Kanye or Madonna or Tetsu, he can actually sing, so there's no need for it. Why the playa-hatin' Ken? Current Mood: crushed Current Music: One Republic - Apologize
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December 24th, 2008
07:51 pm I am home and it's pretty enjoyable. I saw pretty because I enjoy not paying for things (though it does kind of suck that I had to pay full rent/water/electricity when I won't even be there for the second half of the month...boo), but I hate the constant tension that is my house. My parents are both volatile and as they enter old age, their stubborn behaviors just make me want to blow.
For example, I had some stuff to do to finish my schoolwork, and I wanted to do it at Sarah's workplace, my parents flipped. I think they still thought I was in high school and just wanted to goof off. My Dad went from angry to super angry in .5 seconds, telling me i that he thought I was an idiot, a failure, that he wouldn't spend another dime on me, etc. My Mother just nodded away, telling me it was a stupid idea.
I didn't realize it was a stupid idea to get out of the house and get some work done. Since most of you reading this are students, how often do you head out to a Starbucks or a library to buckle down and finish something?
I do it frequently, and honestly, my grades are never lower when I do. So I argued with them, and they argued back, which probably made Sarah uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it. Every second that my parents spent telling me that I was wrong, an idiot, completely backwards for wanting to do a normal thing, I just felt this ball of resentment growing. How do I get over this? I mean, my parents were in the wrong, which my Dad later admitted, and my Mother never did because she can't admit to being wrong, but I wasn't antagonizing them. I wanted to do something normal, and they exploded.
The worst part is not having a car so I can go somewhere else.
Anywho, I'm trying to think of ways I can cool my temper, it Christmas Eve and all. Any suggestions?
Last of all, if anyone on CT wants to chill, I'm here till the 10th, and I'm going to be in PA from the 31st to the 4th or 5th of January. So give me a shout!
Have a Blessed Christmas Eve, y'all! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Mannheim Steamroller - Cantique de Noel (O Holy Night) | Powered by Last.fm
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December 8th, 2008
02:42 am I got back from MUCC a little while ago, and had a grand old time.
I want to figure out that setlist before I do anything else, so the rest of this post will have to wait until later.
They are amazing live, if you ever get a chance to them, I highly recommend you take it. No one left without a smile on their face. Current Music: MUCC - Ageha
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November 23rd, 2008
04:22 pm Paranoia Meme! ....insert X-Files theme....
1. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits. 2. Answer one question with one name. 3. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme. (not srsly)
( X-Files was a good show.....creepy but good )
Um, so I was totally weirded out when I saw people on my flist who were complete strangers. I'm a blip online, how do they know me? You all should check. Are they your friends?
I'm not naming names, but if you have friended me and I don't know you in real life and you have never commented.....why did you friend me? It's a little creeeeeeepy. :'(
So, you should message me to explain.
The end
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November 19th, 2008
12:46 pm - I like Chalupas and to ramble Do you start friendships with the idea that you'll drift apart?
I had a very long conversation about this last night which brought me to tears at some points.
When I start a meaninful friendship or relationship, I don't start it knowing that the person is important to me for the time being and will play a role in my life for the moment.
I kind of assume that when you make that meaningful connection, you keep it for as long as you can. I know I've fallen out of touch with some friends, but I think my record is pretty admirable. For the friends that I really love, I still talk to them, see them when I can, pray for them.
One of my good friends from Starbucks said that while we all really were good friends, and that our friendship is meaningful, in two years we won't be talking to each other, and that won't degrade the friendship. It helped us to develope as human beings and was important to us at the time.
I seriously started crying like three or four times during this conversation and had to go to the bathroom to wipe my eyes. I know that that is stupid and dramatic, but I wear my heart on my sleeve and I was shocked that people will just leave you. I always have been and always will be.
When Kwanghyun stopped communicating with me, I wasn't necessarily sad for the breakup but because he has no interest in my life or concern for my wellbeing.
I think that that kind of unconcern does degrade the friendship, because if the emotions and events you had experienced before meant anything to you, they would show in your continued concern for your true friend.
It really breaks my heart to think that I could 'grow apart' from any of my friends or that we'll be in 'different places.'
One of my friends argued that you can always call them up and connect again, but shouldn't the effort be more continual. Otherwise you could call, only to find out that something truly terrible had happened during the break and you weren't there to support them or connect with them or to show them your love.
I know I'm not the best correspondant, but I want to try
I have class in five, I want to continue this later.
I love all of you. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: The Flaming Lips - Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell
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November 12th, 2008
01:05 am - DOOD Extended Half Blood Prince Trailer!!!
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12:36 am I'm back from D.C. and I had a wonderful wonderful time with nullspace. I really enjoyed my time at Georgetown, from the rich, beautiful scenery (it's unfair that there are places as beautiful as that to live in) to her sweet, funny friends Ashley and Nhaca.
It was such a breath of fresh air to be in the East Coast during the fall season. I haven't seen foliage like that in five years.
I drank boxed wine, threw up from drinking for the first time ever, and had a quick but awesome lunch with Katie, David, Spencer and Jonathan. It was so awesome to seem them so suave and, this may sound stupid, "grown-up." I was honestly close to tears when I left them.
I also saw the monuments, which was beautiful. But for the second time this year, I didn't bring my mother f-ing camera with me, so I took really bad quality cell phone pictures.
Lastly, I got to see Dir en grey and that was just a blast. They have really come together and produced a sound that is amazing. When I saw them last, I felt oddly disconnected, but this time around I really dug their sound. Of course I liked Dozing Green the best, but I also was very into Conceived Sorrow. I got to drink during the show, which was always fun. And I hung out with some very sweet girls: Mimei and Emiri.
Also, there was a signing afterwards, and Toshiya and Die signed my CD and were so friendly and smiley. Toshiya dissed my attempts at huggage though, which makes him the first jrocker to "just say no" to me. He probably didn't understand me. I probably spoke Korean.
All in all, I was my usual obnoxious self, and chatted with the Ram's Head workers, the keyboardist and drummer from the terrible opening band The Human Abstract, Deg's crew (Kenichi and...Crow?), and said ridiculous things to Kaoru, Die, Toshiya and Shinya (who has no Y chromosome, I fear).
The best was talking to Kenichi, who is the blond roadie on the tour. Whenever he got on stage to set up equipment, girls cheered thinking it was Kyo, which is hilarious as he is much better looking than Kyo, and then they cheered because....he had blond hair and a gold studded belt?
Kenichi ignored my heckling at first( I only wanted to let them know we appreciated their hard work: does otsukare not work in that situation?), but we developed an easy rapport after I said, "You deserve some love." He even came over and shook our hands and was ADORABLE.
I want him to be my poolboy.
I also froze my butt off while outside.
Fun fact: they played Iconoclasm while setting up for Dir en Grey. No one danced with me though, Sarah....T-T
I will probably add to this when my brain is no longer misfunctioning. Ily Dhakshila, thanks for putting me up while and letting me visit!!
PS: Could use some prayers for a personal intention Current Mood: restless Current Music: Lupe Fiasco - Superstar (Feat. Matthew Santos)
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October 23rd, 2008
12:54 pm I'm in a strange place right now. By all rights I should be up in arms and angry, but I felt like I didn't have any expectations to be let down in the first place.
I have never felt like this before. Is jaded the word? Current Mood: listless
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